Yesterday it was 70 degrees out for the first time in months. The perfect, perfect day for a run. I wanted to run oh so badly, but I practiced self-disciplined. I didn't run.
Instead I went home after work, threw on shorts and my favorite Nike pullover, the one I would instinctively reach for in the dark for early morning runs, stepped out of my apartment building and walked 3 miles. In some ways I consider yesterday's walk to be more of an accomplishment than running the marathon. It required far more self-discipline. But you do have to walk before you can run I suppose.
I walked to the bike path, the same path I've cursed so many times for being so boring. Except this time it wasn't boring. It was fantastic. I've missed it so much.
I walked slowly and cautiously. Previous to yesterday the only walking I have really been doing for the past 3+ weeks has been from my living room to my bedroom or my office desk to the mail room. I have been trying not to put any pressure on my shins. The walk was a thoroughly enjoyable experience and I experienced no pain other than a few minor blimps here and there at the beginning. I could feel my legs getting stonger with each step. Progress!
I also began to break in my new Kinvara 2s. They feel as good as they look.
But on to the main point of this post - taking the pressure off.
Really, taking the pressure off of myself. If there is one thing about myself that I am certain, it's that if it's on my calendar or on my training plan it may as well be etched in stone. I will do practically anything to hit my goal.
Knowing this, for now, in order to protect myself, I need to remove the goal. This means that I will not be running the North Face Endurance Challenge 50-Miler in DC on June 2nd. While I have mourned the loss of this over the past week or two as it began to sink in, at this point I am past it. Because the thing is that life doesn't end on June 2nd. There will be a June 3rd, and a June 4th, and then it will be July and August, and then the fall, and then 2013. Life goes on and so will I.
For now the June 2nd race is a "North Face Endurance Challenge Distance TBD." They have a marathon and 50k and I hope to be able to participate in one of those distances. Yes, a marathon is still a reasonably difficult distance, but it's half as much as I originally planned to do, so I think I could be okay.
I also emailed the race director for the Trail Triple Marathon at the end of April to see if I could switch to the half. I even held myself back from registering from Marine Corps this week (thank god it sold out in two hours to remove the temptation), which would be a problem if I did happen to get into NYCM. Some day I'd love to run two marathons in two weekends, but this year is not the year.
For now, the only goal is to get back to running. Races or no races, it doesn't matter. There is always the future.
Instead I went home after work, threw on shorts and my favorite Nike pullover, the one I would instinctively reach for in the dark for early morning runs, stepped out of my apartment building and walked 3 miles. In some ways I consider yesterday's walk to be more of an accomplishment than running the marathon. It required far more self-discipline. But you do have to walk before you can run I suppose.
I walked to the bike path, the same path I've cursed so many times for being so boring. Except this time it wasn't boring. It was fantastic. I've missed it so much.
I walked slowly and cautiously. Previous to yesterday the only walking I have really been doing for the past 3+ weeks has been from my living room to my bedroom or my office desk to the mail room. I have been trying not to put any pressure on my shins. The walk was a thoroughly enjoyable experience and I experienced no pain other than a few minor blimps here and there at the beginning. I could feel my legs getting stonger with each step. Progress!
I also began to break in my new Kinvara 2s. They feel as good as they look.
But on to the main point of this post - taking the pressure off.
Really, taking the pressure off of myself. If there is one thing about myself that I am certain, it's that if it's on my calendar or on my training plan it may as well be etched in stone. I will do practically anything to hit my goal.
Knowing this, for now, in order to protect myself, I need to remove the goal. This means that I will not be running the North Face Endurance Challenge 50-Miler in DC on June 2nd. While I have mourned the loss of this over the past week or two as it began to sink in, at this point I am past it. Because the thing is that life doesn't end on June 2nd. There will be a June 3rd, and a June 4th, and then it will be July and August, and then the fall, and then 2013. Life goes on and so will I.
For now the June 2nd race is a "North Face Endurance Challenge Distance TBD." They have a marathon and 50k and I hope to be able to participate in one of those distances. Yes, a marathon is still a reasonably difficult distance, but it's half as much as I originally planned to do, so I think I could be okay.
I also emailed the race director for the Trail Triple Marathon at the end of April to see if I could switch to the half. I even held myself back from registering from Marine Corps this week (thank god it sold out in two hours to remove the temptation), which would be a problem if I did happen to get into NYCM. Some day I'd love to run two marathons in two weekends, but this year is not the year.
For now, the only goal is to get back to running. Races or no races, it doesn't matter. There is always the future.
Self-discipline is hard! Kudos to you; I know how hard it can be.
ReplyDeleteI'll (hopefully!) be doing the 50k at that race, so if you bump down, I'll be there, too. :D
Do it, do it! That would be sweet!
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